Don't tell my heart/My achy breaky heart/ I just don't think it'd understand
Why Marvel why? Why did you have to make a Billy Ray Cyrus comic book?
You created the X-Men, Spider Man, Captain America, Iron Man, the Hulk, and Thor! So why oh why did you tarnish your image by creating a Billy Ray Cyrus comic book? He has no nerd cred! Plus he had a mullet.
Yes Newt is having a bad day, since his top advisors have all quit due to “incompatible” visions for the campaign, the political equivalent of irreconcilable differences. But fear not, Newt! There’s always a silver lining!
Yes, you’re having a sucky day, but you get to thank your lucky (Tiffany) stars that you’re not Rick Santorum. When people Google your name, the words frothy, lube, fecal matter, and anal sex aren’t the top hit. Plus your polling numbers are double digits! And at least Miley Cyrus hasn’t dissed you on Twitter.